问题标题:
【雅思作文求批改~(希望专业一点哦~)SomepeoplethinkthatcomputersandtheInternetareimportantresourcesforstudents,whileothersthinkthatstudentsshouldlearnfromtheirteachers.Discussboththeseviewsandgiveyourownopin】
问题描述:

雅思作文求批改~(希望专业一点哦~)

SomepeoplethinkthatcomputersandtheInternetareimportantresourcesforstudents,whileothersthinkthatstudentsshouldlearnfromtheirteachers.Discussboththeseviewsandgiveyourownopinion.

ComputersandtheInternettransformthesociety,bringingtheinformationage.Astheyareappliedtostudyaspectmorefrequently,somepeoplebelievecomputersandinternetisthenecessarytoolforstudents,whileothersclaimthattheteacherplaysamoreimportantroleinstudents’learning.

PeopleholdtheviewthatcomputersandtheInternetaresignificantforstudentsthinkthatthosewhocannotutilizecomputertechnologyhaveanobviousshortage,becausetheywillmisslotsofup-to-dateinformationandlosstheresources.Inotherwords,thosestudentstendtooutofdate.Withoutinternet,itisharderforstudenttocollectdatafortheirlearning,andtheefficiencyofstudywoulddecrease.Makingfulluseofinternetcannotonlyallowtheconveniencetostudents,butalsoreflectstheabilitytocatchthepeceofrapiddevelopingsociety.

Othersbelievethefunctionofteachercannotbereplacedbycomputer.Althoughtheadvanceofcomputertechnologybroughtconveniencetostudy,italsocausedsometroublethatneverhappenedbefore.Forinstance,studentswhoaddictedtocomputergamesaremorelikelybadatlearningknowledgeandevencommitcrime.Afterall,computerisamachine.Itcannotplaytherolelikeateacher,whocanadministerstudents,communicatewiththem,listentotheiremotionandguidethem.

AsfarasIamconcerned,computertechnologyshouldbeutilizedinstudyaspectwhileteacherplaysthemainroletotechstudents.Admittedly,computercanbereallyhelpfulifstudentsuseitinanaptway.However,humanemotioncannotbeunderstoodbycomputermachine,whiletheteachercan.Theteacherisapttoknowwhattherealneedofthestudentsis.Andtheyarealwaysthebesttoteachstudentshowtolearn.

不要···在网站上修改啊这个我也会呢···==

李月蓉回答:
  theoverallstructureisgood.youhavescoredreasonablygoodontaskresponse.   thecontentsarerelevant.Somegoodlinkwordsareused.   7bandvocabularyhasbeenused.   Thebiggestproblemwithyouressayhastodowithyourgrammaticalaccuracy.Ifyoucouldimprovethatyoucouldgetadesirableband.
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《【雅思作文求批改~(希望专业一点哦~)SomepeoplethinkthatcomputersandtheInternetareimportantresourcesforstudents,whileothersthinkthatstudentsshouldlearnfromtheirteachers.Discussboththeseviewsandgiveyourownopin】|小学作文问答-字典翻译问答网》
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